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The C-Word | Season 2 Ep 31

Uncategorized Dec 06, 2021

The C-Word

The C-word is sexist and it is insulting.

No, not C-U-N-T as the British say it to each other quite lightly.

No, not CUSTODY – had to say it (a bit of family law humor).

The C-word I am referencing is defined in dictionaries as an older woman primarily attracted to younger men for sexual relationships.

The C-word is a fucking sexist and derogatory term.

Despite the fact that she is a mega-star, founded her own production company, has completed a triathlon in less than 3 hours, established a non-profit organization, was the first Latin actress to earn over $1,000,000 for a role, and the only woman voted twice as the “sexiest woman of the year,” not even Jennifer Lopez (“Jlo”) is not immune from being called the C-Word. Even J-Lo gets called the C-word by popular media. Why? Because she has had the audacity to show up at famous people's events with a younger man.

It reminds me of years ago when I was at a nightclub with a friend of mine (she was in...

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Who Are Your Rat People? | Season 2 Ep 30

Uncategorized Nov 29, 2021

Who Are Your Rat People?

“Find your rat people” said a guy whose name I have completely forgotten.

Although I cannot remember the guy who taught me this concept, I have totally remembered the concept itself and the way he taught the concept.

Essentially, he was saying, find your “niche.”

Your Niche is your specialized segment of the clients you want to attract.

Essentially, drilling down from being a “Lawyer” to a “family law lawyer” to a “Family Law lawyer who acts for (name your kind of rat people)”

Let me explain!

As he was teaching this concept he was holding a couple of huge and very playful rats. He is a marketer who happens to LOVE rats. Not everyone loves rats. But he does and he has a couple of big fat friendly ones that he holds and cuddles on his videos. For some people, that is the grossest thing in the world. People who are terrified and grossed out by rats, are not is rat people. Guess what?! Those are not...

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Stop Being a Better Lawyer - It Will Get You Nowhere | Season 2 Ep 29

Uncategorized Nov 22, 2021

Stop Being a Better Lawyer - It Will Get You Nowhere


Back in the olden days when I was an articled student and baby lawyer, I was told that the best way to develop a successful law practice was by doing uncompromisingly great work. Be better than the next lawyer and you were sure to succeed.

That might have been the case in the 1990s and before, but to succeed you have to do a heck of a lot more than great work.

Being better than other lawyers, that is more prepared, more researched, and more knowledgeable than other lawyers may get great results for your clients, but being better is not what it takes to succeed.

Okay, um fine, you want to do great work for your clients. At the same time, there are oodles of smart lawyers doing great work for their clients.

I have always tried to be more prepared than my opponent. I have tried to be more organized. I know I have worked harder.

However, just because you are somewhat better (or even a lot better) than another divorce lawyer,...

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Attention Type “A’s” - Here is How You Avoid Falling Flat on Your Face | Season 2 Ep 28

Uncategorized Nov 15, 2021

Ashrita's ever-evolving bio:

As a Certified Hypnotherapist and Personal Power Coach, Ashrita helps high achievers clear their unconscious fears so that they can get out of overwhelm and into consistent action.

Ashrita has created the proven AAHA (Awareness, Acceptance, Heal, and Aligned Action) method, she focuses on subconscious reprogramming, brain habits, emotional mastery, and overall well-being that helps high-achievers break through any limitations from the inside out.

This helps create a massive impact on their personal and business with a ripple effect on their families and community.
This allows the high-achievers she works with to create the impact and life they really want. She believes that our world needs leaders now more than ever to lead by example and help heal the planet.

Ashrita was born in Nepal and received her undergraduate degree in Sociology from Boston College and a Master's in Education and Leadership from the University of Massachusetts. She was the first...

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3 Steps to Leveling up Your Life With Karen Turpin | Season 2 Ep 27

Uncategorized Nov 08, 2021

3 Steps to Leveling up Your Life With Karen Turpin


Make micro-improvements

In this episode, I had the pleasure of speaking with Karen Turpin who has been a hypnotherapist, healer, psychic medium and spiritual teacher for almost 25 years.

In that time she has worked with thousands of people from all over the world.

She started to notice that there are so many people into spirituality and personal development who are broke and she realised that no matter how hard they tried, they just couldn't get ahead... so she developed a unique way of working with them that combines spirituality, energy, psychology and subconscious reprogramming.

The result? They were finally free to create a happy, fulfilling and (most importantly) a wealthy and abundant life.

She created Abundance Bootcamp to help female entrepreneurs to finally (!) let go of what’s been holding them back financially so that they can become as wealthy as they’ve always dreamed of becoming,...

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Why NOT doing Dispute Resolution Training is a Disservice to Your Clients and Their Kids | Season 2 Ep 26

Uncategorized Nov 01, 2021

Why NOT doing Dispute Resolution Training is a Disservice to Your Clients and Their Kids


I was reviewing some correspondence on one of my client files. I saw one of many examples of why lawyers who are in family law must do dispute resolution training. I mean, I wonder why we are even allowed to do family law if we do not have this training.

When I say dispute resolution training, I mean mediation skills development, dealing with high-conflict cases, negotiation skills training, conflict resolution training, interest-based negotiation skill development, etc. You know, like all the stuff we did not learn in law school.

Some people call such training ADR, as in alternative dispute resolution. There is nothing alternative about it.

I have been dealing with a lawyer. He seems like a nIce enough person, however, he does not realize the damage he is causing to this family. He is causing damage because his positional communication and threats to go to court are helping nobody,...

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Time to Start Lying | Season 2 Ep 25

Uncategorized Oct 25, 2021

Time to start lying



I am a Hemminger.

I love being a Hemminger. I am proud to be a Hemminger. I had the best parents, Elma and Julius Hemminger.

The Hemminger family adopted me. I came to them when I was about three months old.

Elma (my Mom) had two rules. (Well, actually, she had three). If you did not break the two rules, there is no way you could fall out of favour, or be in trouble. This was no matter how big or dumb your mistake was.

The two rules I heard expressed by Elma Hemminger, probably thousands of times, were as follows:

I don’t like liars; and
I don’t like stealers.

Then there was rule number three, less-often stated but still very accurate. People should NEVER, and I mean NEVER, wear hats indoors.

The Hemmingers raised me in a household where, no matter what your bad was, you would not get into trouble as long as you fessed up and told the truth.

My most glaring example was when I drove my Mom and Dad’s car into my boyfriend’s...

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Why the Pursuit of Happiness is F*cked Up | Season 2 Ep 24

Uncategorized Oct 18, 2021

Why the Pursuit of Happiness is F*cked Up

Is this you?

I will be happy once I get my undergraduate degree;
I will be happy once I get into law school;
I will be happy once I finish law school;
I will be happy once I finish my articles and become a lawyer;
I will be happy once I save $(insert your number) for retirement;
I will be happy once I find a long-term partner to marry;
I will be happy once I get married;
I will be happy once I end my marriage;
I will be happy once I retire.

One of my mentors, when asked, how do you be happy? He said, “That is easy. Just be happy.”

I thought, easy enough for you to say. You have a multiple seven-figure income, have a long-term relationship with your soul-mate, and your work is something that inspires you. Try being a divorce lawyer for five minutes mister.

Happiness is where you start, not where you finish.

I have had the honour of getting an advance copy of the book called The Gap and the Gain by Ben Hardy and Dan Sullivan, two very...

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Do You Still Dare to Dream? | Season 2 Ep 23

Uncategorized Oct 11, 2021

Do You Still Dare to Dream?


When I was little, I had the dream of going to University. I dreamt of becoming a lawyer.

I was always dreaming about the kind of life I wanted to create.

Because I was from a working class family, my parents said, “Valorie, university is not for people like us. It is for people with money.” They were not in the business of crushing my dreams. They just didn’t see it as a possibility for me and did not want me to be disappointed. They also didn’t know about the availability of student loans in Canada.

Despite their warnings, I could never stop dreaming.

I wanted to travel places on airplanes (seemed so out of reach). I wanted to read about things I did not know about. I dreamt about having lots of books. I dreamt about having nice furniture. I dreamt about having nice clothes. I dreamt about learning to ski. I dreamt about being able to swim everyday. I dreamt about being able to hike in the woods everyday.

I was always...

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Why I did not have a cigarette this morning | Season 2 Ep 22

Uncategorized Oct 04, 2021

Why I did not have a cigarette this morning


When I woke up this morning, I did not have a cigarette. When I go to parties I don’t smoke or even crave a cigarette. Why? Because I am a non-smoker.

I do not see myself as a smoker and never have. My identity is a lot of things. I identify as a Mom, a step-mom, a dog lover, a fun person, a divorce lawyer, a very slow snowboarder, and a good cook. My identity is not as a smoker.

I compare this to my friend Christina. Christina has quit smoking more times than I can count. She has struggled with her smoking addiction for years. Even though she goes sometimes months and even years without having a cigarette, she ends up slipping and then becoming a full-blown smoker all over again. It is because she identifies as a smoker.

When Christina goes to a party, part of her struggle is to avoid having a cigarette. It is because even if the “addicted” part of her smoking habit is gone, Christina still identifies as a...

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