Why Being Purposefully Ignorant Can be a Great Thing

I have this friend named Heather. She knows so many things. She has renovated her entire house. She not only designed it, but she also did a lot of the work herself. When she got her new dishwasher she actually read the manual so she would know exactly how to load the dishwasher in the most efficient and effective way. If she needs plumbing fixed, she will first try to do it herself before calling a plumber. Most of the time she does not end up needing the plumber. Or the electrician. Or the Maytag repairman so to speak.

Heather knows how to tile her own bathroom. She is a great cook, cooking most of her meals from scratch. She knows first aid. She knows a ton about eating wild plants. She tends to her cottage-style garden and holds a job teaching gymnastics. She even spent a year learning circus arts at Cirque du Soleil. She went off to Mexico for a year once or twice to learn Spanish. She knows how to go camping when it is...

Are you Starving Your Soul?

I had the fortune of being adopted by the Hemminger family, first coming to them via the foster care system as a baby. My parents, Elma and Julius Hemminger, were kind, fun, and very big-hearted people. They were also very wise.

I am not a Christian. I used to, however, marvel at my Mom, Elma’s tremendous faith in who she called God. Her faith and prayers filled her soul. There was no question about it.

Whenever Elma felt sad or fearful, she prayed. She prayed when she worried about one of her children. She prayed when she worried about finances. She prayed because the very act of doing so nourished her.

Elma totally and thoroughly believed that God was listening to her. She also believed that God loved her and every other person on our planet because “God didn’t make no junk.”

On Sundays, Elma went to church, and later on in life, when she was less mobile, she watched church programs on the television.

Everything about...

Be More Like Donald Trump!

One of the first business books I ever read was supposedly written by Donald Trump. I don’t even remember the title.

I feel like I should explain myself a little. This was in about 2011 or so . I knew almost nothing about this Trump guy but had started my journey to learn more about being a business owner. At the time my law practice was struggling.

I am not a television watcher, so I had not seen Donald Trump on television. It was way before he became president. It was way before he was exposed for sexual harassment, assaults, and the like. It was way before he incited a riot on Capitol Hill.

At the time I read the book, I had absolutely no idea (nor did anyone) that he would go on to become the laughing stock of our planet and do so much to discredit the role of “Mr. President.”

At the time, one business book looked pretty much like any other, so I bought it and read it.

I do, however, remember two things that stood out for me about...

Don't be a DICK!

In order to qualify to work for my law firm, Pathway Legal Law Corporation, the Associate lawyers must commit to taking dispute resolution training. This is training that goes way beyond anything we were taught in law school. It is skills-based mediation training.

Why?

Dispute resolution training makes family law lawyers way better at what we do:

• It teaches us about how to negotiate with difficult people;
• It teaches us how to explore the interests of our clients that are behind their positions;
• It helps us understand and then deal with opposing parties more powerfully;
• It helps us discuss and resolve matters more effectively with opposing lawyers;
• It teaches us to be way better negotiators; and, if we have to go to court,
• It teaches us to be way better litigators.

I am a firm believer that the more compassionate and understanding I am of my clients and their needs, the way better advocate I am going to be for them. The more I can get my client to imagine...

Managing the Toxic Client - The Tale of Rotten Ralph

We have all had that one terrible, toxic, client.. It is that one particular client you dread talking to. The one that when you speak to him (or her or they), you feel your energy drain out of you. Your mind feels clogged after speaking with him. You start wondering why you thought becoming a divorce lawyer would EVER be a good idea . . .

Let me tell you about Rotten Ralph.

Rotten Ralph is a particular client. He also happens to be the one that doesn’t take your advice, he takes unreasonable positions, he complains about each and every one of your invoices, he takes up an inordinate amount of your staff’s time, and is, on top of it, rude. He is rude to you and, even worse, rude to your support staff. He also happens to believe he knows more about the law and the legal process than you do.

We have all had our share of Rotten Ralphs.

Rotten Ralph is DIFFICULT to love.

In my practice, one particular Rotten Ralph...

Gazing Into the Crystal Ball That is Your Future

The fact that you are reading means that you probably want to have more for your life than you do right now.

Maybe you are just like me, a hopelessly driven person who has had some hard-ass bumps in the road, so to speak.

Because you, like me, are a divorce lawyer, you are probably used to at least some success. You got into law school, you got your law degree, and you passed your bar.

And maybe as you are reading this, you, like me, also want to enjoy more success than you already have.

I know that my life started kinda going off the rails as soon as I got called to the bar. I had “arrived” after all . . . so all the discipline, great habits I developed, started to falter. Because I had “arrived,” I started to take it easy . . . this meant that I drank every night. I stopped looking after my physical body. I ate out at restaurants every day. I overspent using consumer credit. I worked during the day and...

Do Your Clients Own Your Brain and Suck Your Blood?

Has this ever happened or has been happening to you:

Do your clients own your brain and even worse, do they suck the blood out of you?

I think about this trial I've had recently. When I got a message from the trial scheduler saying that my matter will not be proceeding as scheduled, I felt a wave of relief wash over me.

The entire lens of my day changed for the better!

It made me realize, while I was already past the moments of dreading my trials… This particular case really hurt the vibrancy, the lifeblood, the force of me, of my team of my firm, and has also actually owned our thoughts.

Listen to the entire episode to find out how this happened, where I went wrong and what I’d do differently to actually be able to be strategic about moving forward and having time to put a case together properly.

In This Episode:

• Going back to when I was a server [00:00:44]
• Blood sucking -- No juice [00:01:46]
• I felt a wave of relief...

Your Great Work Is Not Only Killing Your Future, It Is Making You Broke

Will you allow working evenings and weekends, compromising your health and family relationships to be the cost of your great work?

In this episode, I’d like to share with you how the blood, sweat, and tears you shed to do great work can actually kill your future and make you broke… and what you can do to avoid this.

Listen to the entire episode to learn how you can make changes to your life and law practice for the better and continue to build the foundation of your career with a transformational step.

In This Episode:

• Are You Benefitting From Your Blood, Sweat, Weekend Work And Tears? [00:01:12]
• A Person Could Spend The Rest Of Their Lives Working Will Miss Out A Whole Lot Of Health, Family, Connection and Happiness [00:02:05]
• Your Law Employer Does Not Care About You [00:03:45]
• Is It The Jerk Partner Or Owner In Your Law Firm Or You? [00:05:57]
• Getting Great Reviews But Only To...

Unbreaking the Broken Family Industry

If we did away with the toxicity of Family Law disputes, what would happen to our industry?

This is what I wanted to share with you in today’s podcast.

When clients go through a divorce or a separation, they're in a dysfunctional situation and already stressed out. Most of the time they want a lawyer who can get their matter resolved stat. If we are literally stirring the pot and conduct ourselves with the thought that we are paid to fight, that's not helpful at all, is it? This demonstrates something that's very broken about our industry.

What if we were actually to change the whole question of the family law industry? What if we were just guiding people, from the time of their separation to having their family matter resolved in an efficient, appropriate way.

Listen to this week’s episode to learn more about how we can transition the discussion around Family Law, so that we keep people out of court, out of the toxic...

Minding Your Own Business

When I first started with my firm, I thought I was well on my way. What I didn't realize was that there was more to looking after my own business than practicing law.

In this episode, I want to share with you my thoughts about minding your own business.

Whether we’re running our own firms, or working for a law firm, we have to understand what a business entails. It is in our business to ensure that things are working efficiently and effectively, so we’re not out there putting out one fire after another.

Listen to this week’s episode to learn more about how we can restructure our practices so that we are better at showing up and minding our businesses. 

In This Episode:

• I Went Off And Created My Own Firm, Until I Realized [00:01:32]